


In My Time Of Dying (SEASON TWO, EPISODE ONE)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [24]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon, Episode: s02e01 In My Time of Dying, Reaper - Freeform, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 05:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6841357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In tha aftermath of tha hoopty crash, tha survivin Winchestas git all up in tha hospitizzle, where one is stalked by a Reaper while another must consider sacrificin his dirty ass ta save tha others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

EXT. CRASH SITE - NIGHT

"Shiznitty Moon Rising" is still playin on tha radio as we zoom up in on tha wrecked Impala.

Da demon-possessing-a-truck-driver steps outta his cold-ass truck n' strutts over n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shot of Jizzy n' Dean, both unconscious, then ta Sam, whoz ass swallows, barely awake. Da demon pulls tha driverz side door off its hinges ta reveal SAM pointin tha COLT at his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** Back. Or I be bout ta bust a cap up in you, I swear ta god.

 **DEMON  
** Yo ass won't. Yo ass is savin dat cap fo' one of mah thugs. 

 **SAM**  
(cockin tha gun)  
Yo ass wanna bet?

It smiles; tha black demon-ichor pours outta tha dude, whoz ass collapses. Sam uncocks tha gun, drops his head back up in relief.

 **MAN  
** Oh mah god dawwwg!

 **SAM  
** Dad?

 **MAN  
** Did I do this?

 **SAM  
** Dad hommie! Dean, biatch? Dean!!

BRIGHT FLASH-CUT TO:

EXT. CRASH SITE - DAY

A rescue helicopta descendz ta tha site, n' all three is bein loaded onto stretchers. JOHN n' DEAN is still unconscious, SAM be awake.

 **PARAMEDIC MAN  
** Significant passenger side intrusion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Unresponsive. BP is 180 over 60, heartrate 95, 95.

 **SAM  
** Tell me if they aiiight hommie!

 **PARAMEDIC WOMAN  
** Yo ass gotta stay still!

 **SAM  
** Is they even kickin it?

INT yo. HOSPITAL - DAY

In a room, DEAN sits up, works his jaw, gets outta bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude is bustin a white t-shirt, blue hospitizzle pants, n' not a god damn thang else yo. Dude goes tha fuck into tha hallway.

 **DEAN  
** Sam, biatch? Dad, biatch? Anybody?

DEAN goes down tha stairs ta tha front of tha hospitizzle n' findz a nursez station.

 **DEAN**  
Excuse mah dirty ass. Yo! I, uh, i be thinkin I was up in a cold-ass lil hoopty accident, mah daddy n' mah brother, I just need ta find dem wild-ass muthafuckas.  
(the nurse is unresponsive)  
Hello?  
(snappin his wild lil' fingers)

Dude goes back upstairs, panicked, n' finds:

INT. DEAN'S ROOM - DAY

Spirit!DEAN sees his own body on tha bed, intubated n' dying. Close on his shocked face.


	2. ACT ONE

INT. DEAN'S ROOM - DAY

Still reelin from tha shock of seein his unconscious body, DEAN turns, relieved, as SAM enters. SAM stops all up in tha door n' stares at his brotherz body, breathang heavily.

 **!DEAN  
** Sammy dawwwwg! Yo ass look good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Considering.

 **SAM  
** Oh, no.

 **!DEAN  
** Man, tell me you can hear mah dirty ass. 

 **!DEAN  
** Howz dad, biatch? Is he aiiight, biatch? Come on, you tha psycho. Give me some pimp whisperin or something!

 **DOCTOR**  
(entering)  
Yo crazy-ass fatherz awake. Yo ass can go peep his ass if you like.

 **!DEAN  
** Thank god.

 **SAM  
** Doc, what tha fuck bout mah brother?

 **DOCTOR  
** Well, da perved-out muthafucka sustained straight-up injury: blood loss, contusions ta his fuckin liver n' kidney. But itz tha head trauma I be worried about. Therez early signz of cerebral edema. 

 **SAM  
** Well, what tha fuck can our phat asses do?

 **DOCTOR  
** Well, we won't know his wild lil' full condizzle until da thug wakes up. If da thug wakes up. 

 **SAM  
** If?

 **DOCTOR  
** I gotta be real-

 **!DEAN**  
(overlap)  
Oh, screw you, Doc, I be wakin up.

 **DOCTOR**  
(overlap)  
Most playas wit dis degree of fuck-up wouldn't have survived dis long. Dat punk fightin straight-up hard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But you need ta have realistic expectations.

 **!DEAN  
** Come on, Sam. Go find some hoodoo priest ta lay some mojo on mah dirty ass. Sam?

INT. JOHN'S ROOM - DAY

Jizzy is lyin up in a hospitizzle bed, his thugged-out arm up in a slin fo' realz. Awkwardly one-handed, he pulls suttin' outta his wallet.

 **JOHN  
** Here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Give dem mah insurance.

SAM takes tha card JOHN gives him, smilin as he readz dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Elroy McGillicutty?

 **JOHN  
** And his cold-ass two gangbangin sons. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, what tha fuck else did tha doctor say bout Dean?

 **SAM  
** Nothing. Look. Da doctors won't do anything, then we'll have to, thatz all. I don't give a fuck, I be bout ta find some hoodoo priest n' lay some mojo on his muthafuckin ass.

 **JOHN  
** We bout ta look fo' one of mah thugs.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **JOHN  
** But Sam, I don't give a fuck if we gonna find mah playas.

 **SAM  
** Why not, biatch? I found dat faith heala before. 

 **JOHN  
** All right, dat was, dat was one up in a million. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **SAM  
** So what, biatch? Do our laid-back asses just sit here wit our thumbs up our ass?

 **JOHN**  
Fuck dat shit, I holla'd we'd look. All right, biatch? I be bout ta check under every last muthafuckin stone.   
(beat)  
Wherez tha Colt?

 **SAM  
** Yo crazy-ass lil hustla is dying, n' you worried bout tha Colt?

 **JOHN  
** Our thugged-out asses hustlin dis demon, n' maybe itz hustlin our asses like a muthafucka. That glock may be our only card.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but up in tha trunk. They dragged tha hoopty ta a yard off of I-83.

 **JOHN  
** All right. You've gotta clean up dat trunk before some junk playa sees whatz inside.

 **SAM  
** I already called Bobby. Dat punk like a minute out, he gonna tow tha Impala back ta his thugged-out lil' place. 

 **JOHN  
** All right. You, you go hook up wit Bobby. you git dat Colt, n' you brang it back ta mah dirty ass fo' realz. And you peep up fo' hospitizzle security.

 **SAM  
** I be thinkin I've gots it covered. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

Dude gets up ta leave; Jizzy stops him, pickin up a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shizzle of paper.

 **JOHN  
** Hey yo. Here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I done cooked up a list of thangs I need, have Bobby pick dem up fo' mah dirty ass. 

 **SAM**  
(reading)  
Acacia, biatch? Oil of Abramelin, biatch? Whatz dis shiznit for?

 **JOHN  
** Protection.

 **SAM  
** Yo, Dad, biatch? Yo ass know, tha demon, da perved-out muthafucka holla'd dat schmoooove muthafucka had plans fo' me, n' lil pimps like mah dirty ass. Do you have any scam what tha fuck he meant by that?

 **JOHN  
** Fuck dat shit, I don't.

Sam leaves, shuttin tha door ta reveal DEAN, whoz ass has been leanin behind dat shit.

 **!DEAN  
** Well, you shizzle know something. 

EXT. JUNKYARD - DAY

SAM looks down all up in tha mangled car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. BOBBY is there as well.

 **SAM  
** Oh dude, Dean is gonna be pissed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **BOBBY  
** Look, Sam. This... dis just ain't worth a tow. I say we empty tha trunk, push tha rest fo' scrap.

 **SAM  
** No. Dean would bust a cap up in me if our phat asses did dis shit. When he gets betta he gonna wanna fix all dis bullshit.

 **BOBBY  
** Therez not a god damn thang ta fix. Da framez a pretzel, n' tha enginez ruined. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Therez barely any parts worth salvaging.

 **SAM  
** Listen ta me, Bobby. If there be a only one hustlin part, thatz enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. We not just goin ta give up on...

 **BOBBY**  
(quietly)  
Okay. Yo ass gots dat shit. 

 **SAM  
** Here, uh, Dad axed fo' you ta git dis shiznit fo' his muthafuckin ass.

SAM handz over tha list. BOBBY looks at it, frowning.

 **BOBBY  
** Whatz Jizzy want wit this?

 **SAM**  
Protection from tha demon?  
(Bobby gives his ass a look)  
What?

 **BOBBY  
** Oh, nothing, itz just, uh -- 

 **SAM  
** Bobby, biatch? Whatz goin on?

INT. DEAN'S ROOM - DAY

JOHN is chillin by DEAN'S bed; !DEAN STANDS NEARBY.

 **!DEAN**  
Come on, Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! You've gotta help mah dirty ass. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I gotta git better, I've gotta git back up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I mean, you aint called a ass fo' help. Yo ass aint even tried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Aren't you goin ta do anything, biatch? Aren't you even goin ta say anything?  
(he starts struttin round tha bed)  
I've done every last muthafuckin thang you have eva axed mah dirty ass. Everything. I have given every last muthafuckin thang I've eva had. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And you just goin ta sit there n' you goin ta peep me die, biatch? I mean, what tha fuck tha hell kind of daddy is yo slick ass?

Dude pauses, hearin something.

 **!DEAN  
** What tha fuck iz that?

!DEAN goes tha fuck into tha hallway n' a spirit whooshes past his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude jumps back.

 **!DEAN**  
(to JOHN)  
I take it you didn't peep dis shit. 

!DEAN stalks tha spirit down tha hallways yo. Dude sees it go tha fuck into a funky-ass back hallway where a biatch is lyin on tha floor, choking.

 **WOMAN  
** Help! Help!

 **!DEAN  
** Yo dawwwwg! I need some help up in here biaatch!

 **WOMAN  
** I can't... breathe biaaatch! 

She baggy-ass pants loudly, tryin desperately ta breathe, then goes silent. !DEAN, leanin over her, looks on helplessly.


	3. ACT TWO

INT. JOHN'S ROOM - DAY

SAM stalks tha fuck into tha room wit a thugged-out duffel bag; !DEAN meets his ass all up in tha door n' starts tryin ta rap ta his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Sammy dawwwwg! Tell me you can friggin' hear me, dude, there be a suttin' up in tha hospitizzle. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Now, you've gots ta brang me back n' we've gots ta hunt dis thang. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam!

 **JOHN  
** Yo ass is on tha fuckin' down-low. 

SAM turns, fuming, n' hurls tha bag onto tha bed wit a cold-ass lil crash.

 **SAM  
** Did yo dirty ass be thinkin I wouldn't smoke up?

 **JOHN  
** What is you poppin' off about?

 **SAM  
** That shiznit from Bobby, you don't use it ta ward off a thugged-out demon, you use it ta summon one. Yo ass is plannin on brangin tha demon here, aren't yo slick ass, biatch? Havin some wack macho showdown?!

 **JOHN  
** I gots a plan, Sam

 **SAM  
** Thatz exactly mah point son! Dean is dying, n' you gotz a plan! Yo ass know what, you care mo' bout cappin' dis demon than you do savin yo' own son!

 **!DEAN**  
(overlap)  
Fuck dat shit, no, no, muthafuckas, don't do this!

 **JOHN**  
(overlap)  
Do not tell me how tha fuck I feel! I be bustin dis fo' Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **SAM  
** How, biatch? How tha fuck is revenge goin ta help him, biatch? Yo ass aint thankin bout anybody but yo ass, itz tha same ol' dirty selfish obsession!

 **!DEAN**  
(overlap)  
Come on muthafuckas, don't do this!

 **JOHN**  
(overlap)  
Yo ass know, itz funky, I thought dat shiznit was yo' obsession too! This demon capped yo' mother, capped yo' hoe yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Yo ass begged mah crazy ass ta be part of dis hunt. Now if you'd capped dat damn thang when you had tha chance, none of dis would have happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **SAM  
** Dat shiznit was possessin you, Dad, I would have capped you like a muthafucka.

 **JOHN  
** Yeah, n' yo' brutha would be awake n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. 

 **!DEAN  
** Shut up, both of you, nahmean biiiatch?

 **SAM  
** Go ta hell. 

 **JOHN  
** I should have never taken you along up in tha straight-up original gangsta place. I knew dat shiznit was a mistake, I knew I was wack-

 **!DEAN**  
(overlap)  
I holla'd SHUT UP!

!DEAN smacks a glass of wata off tha table n' it goes flying, crashin ta tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Beat. SAM n' JOHN peep each other, confused, !DEAN looks stunned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **!DEAN  
** Dude, I full-on Swayze'd dat mother.

DEAN crumplez up in pain, flickering. Nurses n' doctors start hustlin by up in tha hallway.

 **!DEAN  
** What tha fuck iz it?

 **JOHN  
** Somethingz goin on up there.

Dude jerks his head indicatin "Go smoke up" ta SAM.

INT. DEAN'S ROOM - DAY

Monitors is beeping, a thugged-out doctor n' some nurses is surroundin Dean, resuscitatin his muthafuckin ass.

 **DOCTOR  
** All clear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. 

 **SAM**  
(huddlin up in tha doorway, tears up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes)  
No.

 **NURSE  
** Still no pulse.

 **DOCTOR  
** Okay, letz go again, 360.

 **NURSE**  
Charging.  
(continues)

Yo, blasted on SAM'S grill up in tha doorway, bustin up like a biatch n' fidgeting; !DEAN comes slowly behind his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude sees a pimply figure floatin over tha body lyin up in tha bed.

 **!DEAN  
** Yo ass git tha hell away from mah dirty ass.

Dude runs ta tha bed n' faces tha thang down, yelling.

 **!DEAN  
** I holla'd git back!

SAM blinks, looks confused, as if dat schmoooove muthafucka heard something. 

!DEAN grabs fo' tha spirit; he latches on momentarily before it hurls his ass back n' then soars outta tha room. Da monitors slow, on tha fuckin' down-low.

 **NURSE  
** Our thugged-out asses gotz a pulse. We back tha fuck into sinus rhythm.

Dean runs tha fuck into tha hallway, lookin fo' tha spirit; itz vanished. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Sam sighs up in relief n' backs tha fuck into tha hallway, watchin from there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Dean comes back, standz by his muthafuckin ass. 

 **!DEAN  
** Don't worry, Sammy. I aint goin anywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I be gettin dat thang before it gets mah dirty ass. It aint nuthin but some kind of spirit yo, but I could grab it fo' realz. And if I can grab it, I can bust a cap up in dat shit. 

Sam looks over ta where !DEAN was, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN wandaz tha halls, then hears a hoe yelling.

 **GIRL  
** Can't you peep me son, biatch? Why won't you look all up in mah grill son?

 **!DEAN  
** Now what?

 **GIRL  
** Some Muthafucka rap ta me biaaatch! Say something, please biaatch!

 **!DEAN  
** Yo ass betta peep me son?

 **GIRL  
** Yeah. 

 **!DEAN  
** All right, just, uh, quit trippin' out. Whatz yo' name?

 **GIRL  
** Tessa.

 **!DEAN  
** Okay, good, Tessa, I be Dean.

 **TESSA  
** Whatz goin' down ta me son, biatch? Am - is I dead?

 **!DEAN  
** That sort of depends. 

EXT. TESSA'S ROOM

!DEAN n' TESSA stand outside a room, watchin what tha fuck be apparently TESSA'S body, hooked up ta tubes n' machines fo' realz. A biatch sits by tha bed, holdin her hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **TESSA  
** I don't understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I just came up in fo' a appendectomy.

 **!DEAN  
** Well, I don't give a fuck bout ta bear shitty shizzle yo, but I be thinkin there was some complications. 

 **TESSA  
** It aint nuthin but just a thugged-out dream, thatz all. It aint nuthin but just a straight-up weird, unbelievably vivid dream.

 **!DEAN  
** Tessa. It aint nuthin but not a thugged-out dream.

 **TESSA  
** Then what tha fuck else could it be?

 **!DEAN  
** Yo ass eva heard of a outta body experience?

 **TESSA  
** What is you, some freshly smoked up agey muthafucka?

 **!DEAN  
** Yo ass peep me messin wit crystals or listenin ta Yanni, biatch? It aint nuthin but straight-up a straight-up oldschool idea. Got a shitload of different names: Bilocation, crisis apparition, fetches... I be thinkin itz goin' down ta our asses fo' realz. And if it is, it means dat we spiritz of playas close ta dirtnap. 

 **TESSA  
** So we goin ta die?

 **!DEAN  
** No. Not if our crazy asses hold on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Our bodies can git better, we can snap right back up in there n' wake up. 

INT. JOHN'S ROOM - DAY

 **JOHN  
** What do you mean, you felt something?

 **SAM  
** I mean it felt like, like Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Like da thug was there, just outta eyeshot or something. I don't give a fuck if itz mah psycho thang or what, dat shit... But do you be thinkin itz even possible, biatch? I mean, do you be thinkin his spirit could be around?

 **JOHN  
** Anythingz possible. 

 **SAM  
** Well, there be a one way ta smoke up.

 **JOHN  
** Where is you going?

 **SAM  
** I gotta pick suttin' up. I be bout ta be back.

 **JOHN  
** Wait, Sam. I promise I won't hunt dis demon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Not until we know Deanz all gravy. 

Sam nods, leaves.

EXT yo. HALLWAY - DAY

!DEAN n' TESSA is struttin down tha hallway.

 **!DEAN  
** I gotta say, I be impressed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **TESSA  
** With what?

 **!DEAN  
** With you, biatch. Most playas up in yo' spot would be jello up in dis biatch yo, but uh, you takin dis pretty well. Maybe a lil betta than mah dirty ass. 

 **TESSA  
** Don't git me wrong. I was pretty freaked at first. But now, I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. Maybe I be dealing.

 **!DEAN  
** So you aiiight wit dying?

 **TESSA  
** Fuck dat shit, of course not. I just think, whateverz gonna happenz gonna happen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It aint nuthin but outta mah control, itz fate. 

 **!DEAN  
** Huh. Well, thatz crap. Yo ass always gotz a cold-ass lil chizzle. Yo ass can either roll over n' take a thugged-out dirtnap or you can keep fighting, no matta what tha fuck­-

 **PA ANNOUNCEMENT  
** Room 237, code blue. Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Kripke ta room 237, code blue. 

 **TESSA  
** Where is you going?

 **!DEAN  
** Just wait here.

Dean runs down tha hallway ta another room up in crisis. Da same spirit is hoverin over a lil girl, whoz ass is bein resuscitated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Well shiiiit, it reaches a hand tha fuck into her face. 

 **!DEAN  
** Git away from her son!

Dude lunges all up in tha spirit, which vanishes. Da nurses stop resuscitation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **MALE DOCTOR  
** All right, letz call dat shit. 

 **FEMALE DOCTOR  
** Time of dirtnap, five eleven p.m.

 **NURSE  
** At least she not sufferin no mo'. 

Close on !DEAN lookin stunned.


	4. ACT THREE

INT. DEAN'S ROOM - NIGHT

Close blasted on DEAN'S face; SAM entas tha room on tha fuckin' down-lowly, clutchin a funky-ass brown paper bag up in his thugged-out arms.

 **SAM  
** Hey. I be thinkin maybe you around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And if yo ass is, don't make funk of me fo' dis yo, but um, well, there be a one way we can talk. 

Dude pulls up a funky-ass box labeled "Mystical Talkin Board". !DEAN is now behind his muthafuckin ass., arms folded.

 **!DEAN  
** Oh, you gotta be kiddin mah dirty ass. 

Sam circlez round tha bed n' sits cross legged on tha floor yo. Dude opens tha box n' pulls up tha board.

 **SAM  
** Dean, biatch? Dean, is you here?

 **!DEAN**  
God, I feel like I be at a slumber party.   
(he sits opposite SAM up in front of tha board)   
All right, Sam. This aint goin ta work. 

SAM has his handz poised on tha pointer. !DEAN places his wild lil' fingers on it n' slowly, concentrating. slides it ta "YES" on tha board. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM gasps. 

 **!DEAN  
** I be bout ta be damned.

 **SAM**  
(laughin up in relief)  
It aint nuthin but phat ta hear from you, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it aint been tha same without you, Dean.

 **!DEAN  
** Damn straight. 

!DEAN places his wild lil' fingers on tha pointa again n' again n' again n' starts slidin dat shit. Da camera circlez round behind SAM ta his POV - he is ridin' solo all up in tha board, tha pointa slidin under his wild lil' fingers. 

 **SAM  
** Dean, what, biatch? H, biatch? U, biatch? Hunt, biatch? Hunting, biatch? What, is you hunting?

Da pointa slides back ta "YES"

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but up in tha hospitizzle, what tha fuck you hunting, biatch? Do, do you know what tha fuck it is?

 **!DEAN  
** One question at a time, dude.

 **SAM  
** What tha fuck iz it?

Da pointa slides again n' again n' again durin tha following, ta R, E, A, P.

 **!DEAN  
** I don't be thinkin itz cappin' people. I be thinkin itz takin dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Yo ass know, when they timez just up.

 **SAM**  
A reaper n' shit. Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Is it afta yo slick ass?  
(Da pointa slides ta YES.)  
If itz here naturally, there be a no way ta stop dat shit. 

 **!DEAN  
** Yeah, you can't bust a cap up in dirtnap. 

 **SAM  
** Man, you is, um,

 **!DEAN  
** I be screwed, Sam.

 **SAM**  
No. Fuck dat shit, no, no, um, there be a gotta be a way.  
(he stands, pacing)  
Therez gotta be a way. Dad'll know what tha fuck ta do.  
(he leaves)

INT. JOHN'S ROOM - NIGHT 

SAM entas n' sees dat tha bed is empty.

 **SAM**  
(whispered)  
Dad.

INT. BOILER ROOM - NIGHT

Jizzy pushes tha door open n' enters, carryin tha duffel bag yo. Dude strutts all up in a thugged-out dark n' drippin hallway ta a cold-ass lil clear space, places tha bag down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude pulls up a funky-ass box of white chalk n' starts drawin a big-ass symbol on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. 

INT. DEAN'S ROOM - NIGHT

Sam returns carryin tha JOURNAL yo. Dude sits on tha edge of DEAN'S bed.

 **SAM  
** Hey. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So Dad wasn't up in his bangin room. 

 **!DEAN  
** Where is he?

 **SAM  
** But I gots Dadz journal, so whoz ass knows, biatch? Maybe there be a suttin' here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. 

SAM flips open tha journal n' leafs all up in it, glancin up at DEANz unconscious form occasionally.  !DEAN comes ta stand behind his muthafuckin ass.

 **!DEAN  
** Thanks fo' not givin up on me, Sammy.

Sam turns ta a page dat say "Reapers", !DEAN leans over n' readz somethang yo. His eyes go wide.

 **!DEAN  
** Son of a funky-ass biiiatch. 

Dude leaves, stalkin down tha hallway until da perved-out muthafucka sees:

INT. EMPTY ROOM - NIGHT

TESSA is chillin on tha edge of tha bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dat hoe dressed differently.

 **TESSA/REAPER  
** Yea muthafucka, Dean.

 **!DEAN  
** Yo ass know, you read da most thugged-out bangin-ass thangs. For example, did you know dat reapers can alta human perception, biatch? I shizzle didn't. Basically they can make theyselves step tha fuck up however they want. Like, say, uh, a pimpin' girl. Yo ass is much prettier than tha last reaper I met. 

 **T!REAPER  
** I was wonderin when you would figure it out. 

 **!DEAN  
** I should have known. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. That whole "acceptin fate" rap of yours is far too laid back fo' a thugged-out dead chick. But tha mother, n' tha body, I be still tryin ta figure dat one out. 

 **T!REAPER  
** It aint nuthin but mah sandbox, I can make you peep whatever I want. 

 **!DEAN  
** What, is dis like a turn-on fo' yo slick ass, biatch? What, toyin wit me son?

 **T!REAPER  
** Yo ass didn't give me much chizzle. Yo ass saw mah legit form n' you flipped out. Kinda hurts a girlz vibe. This was tha only way I could git you ta rap ta mah dirty ass. 

 **!DEAN  
** Okay, fine. We rappin'. What tha hell do you wanna rap about?

 **T!REAPER**  
How tha fuck dirtnap aint a god damn thang ta fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
(she touches his cheek)  
It aint nuthin but yo' time ta go, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And you livin on borrowed time already. 

INT. BOILER ROOM - NIGHT

Jizzy has finished tha chalk symbol, has placed nuff muthafuckin candlez n' a funky-ass black bowl round it yo. Dude is incantin up in Latin.

 **JOHN  
** (LATIN)

Dude slides a knife across his thugged-out lil' palm, drawin blood n' drippin it on tha bowl yo. Dude lights a match n' drops it in; tha sand up in tha bowl flares n' goes out. JOHN stands, lookin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A hand grabs his shoulder.

 **MAN  
** What tha hell is you bustin down here, dawg?

 **JOHN  
** I can explain.

 **MAN  
** Yeah, biatch? Yo ass is goin ta explain ta security. Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass gangbang mah dirty ass.

 **JOHN**  
(pullin tha COLT n' cockin it)  
Hey yo. How tha fuck wack do you be thinkin I am?

 **DEMON**  
(eyes glowing)  
Yo ass straight-up want a real answer ta that?

Two possessed pimps up in lab coats stalk by n' take positions behind JOHN.

 **DEMON  
** Yo ass conjurin me, John. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be surprised. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I took you fo' a shitload f thangs. But suicidally reckless wasn't one of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **JOHN  
** I could always blast you, biatch. 

 **DEMON**  
Yo ass could always miss.   
(laughs)  
And you've only gots one try, don't'cha, biatch? Did yo dirty ass straight-up be thinkin you could trap me son?

 **JOHN**  
Oh, I don't wanna trap you, biatch.  
(lowers tha gun)  
I wanna cook up a thugged-out deal.

DEMON looks intrigued.


	5. ACT FOUR

INT. DEAN'S ROOM - NIGHT

Sam is standin on tha window side of Deanz bed, handz up in his thugged-out lil' pockets. !DEAN aint there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. 

 **SAM**  
Dean, is you here, biatch?   
(looks around)  
I couldn't find anythang up in tha book. I don't give a fuck how tha fuck ta help you, biatch. But I be bout ta keep trying, all right, biatch? As long as you keep fighting. I mean, come on you can't, you can't leave me here ridin' solo wit Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! We bout ta bust a cap up in each other, you know all dis bullshit.  
(pause)   
Dean, you gotta hold on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass can't go, dude, not now, nahmeean, biatch? Us thugs was just startin ta be brothers again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass betta hear me son, biatch? 

INT. EMPTY ROOM - NIGHT

!DEAN is starin up a thugged-out dark window.

 **!DEAN  
** Look, I be shizzle you've heard dis before yo, but... you've gotta cook up a exception, you've gotta cut me a funky-ass break. 

 **T!REAPER  
** Stage three: bargaining.

 **!DEAN  
** I be straight-up n shit. My fuckin crewz up in dark shiznit n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See, we kind of up in tha middle of this, um, war, n' they need mah dirty ass. 

 **T!REAPER  
** Da fightz over.

 **!DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, it aint.

 **T!REAPER  
** It be fo' you, biatch. Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass aint tha straight-up original gangsta soldier I've plucked from tha field. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They all feel tha same. They can't muthafuckin bounce. Victory hangs up in tha balance. But they wrong. Da battle goes on without dem wild-ass muthafuckas. 

 **!DEAN  
** My fuckin brutha n' shiznit yo. Dude could take a thugged-out dirtnap without mah dirty ass. 

 **T!REAPER  
** Maybe da thug will, maybe da thug won't. Nothang you can do bout dat shit. It aint nuthin but a honorable dirtnap fo' realz. A warriorz dirtnap.

 **!DEAN  
** I be thinkin I be bout ta pass on tha seventy two virgins, props. I aint dat tha fuck into prude chicks anyway.

 **T!REAPER  
** Thatz funky. Yo ass is straight-up cute. 

 **!DEAN  
** Therez no such thang as a honorable dirtnap. My fuckin corpse is goin ta rot up in tha ground n' mah crew is goin ta die biaaatch! No. I aint goin wit yo, I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit what tha fuck you do.

 **T!REAPER  
** Well, like you holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Therez always a cold-ass lil chizzle. I can't make you come wit mah dirty ass. But you not gettin back up in yo' body fo' realz. And thatz just facts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. So fo'sho, you can stay. You'll stay here fo' years. Disembodied, scared, n' over tha decades it'll probably drive you mad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Maybe you gonna even git violent.

 **!DEAN  
** What is you saying?

 **T!REAPER  
** Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. How tha fuck do you be thinkin mad salty spirits is born, biatch? They can't let go n' they can't move on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And you bout ta become one. Da same thang you hunt. 

INT. BOILER ROOM - NIGHT

Da DEMON, JOHN, n' tha two minions is still up in a cold-ass lil circle round tha summonin symbol.

 **DEMON  
** It aint nuthin but straight-up unseemly, makin deals wit devils yo. How tha fuck do I know dis aint just another trick?

 **JOHN  
** It aint nuthin but no trick. I'ma hit you wit tha Colt n' tha cap yo, but you've gots ta help Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. You've gots ta brang his ass back. 

 **DEMON  
** Why, John, you a sentimentalist. If only yo' thugs knew how tha fuck much they daddy loved dem wild-ass muthafuckas. 

 **JOHN  
** It aint nuthin but a phat trade. Yo ass care a hell of a shitload mo' bout dis glock than you do Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **DEMON**  
Don't be all kindsa shizzle yo. Dude capped some playas straight-up special ta mah dirty ass. But still, you right, he aint much of a threat fo' realz. And neither is yo' other son.  
(JOHN lowers his head, raises his wild lil' fuckin eyes.)  
Yo ass know tha real deal, right, biatch? Bout Sammy, biatch? And tha other children?

 **JOHN  
** Yeah. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I known fo' a while. 

 **DEMON  
** But Sam don't, do he, biatch? You've been playin dumb. 

 **JOHN  
** Yo ass betta brang Dean back, biatch? Yes yes y'all, or no?

 **DEMON  
** No. But I know one of mah thugs whoz ass can. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. it aint a problem. 

 **JOHN**  
Good.  
Before I hit you wit tha gun, I be goin ta wanna make shizzle dat Deanz all gravy. With mah own eyes. 

 **DEMON**  
Oh, John, I be offended. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Don't you trust me son?  
(JOHN shakes his head slowly)  
Fine. 

 **JOHN  
** So our crazy asses gotz a thugged-out deal?

 **DEMON  
** Fuck dat shit, John, not yet. Yo ass still need ta dopeen tha pot.

 **JOHN  
** With what?

 **DEMON  
** Therez suttin' else I want, as much as dat gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Maybe more.

INT. EMPTY ROOM - NIGHT

!DEAN is chillin on tha bed, TESSA/REAPER behind his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch strokes his afro tenderly.

 **T!REAPER  
** It aint nuthin but time ta put tha wild-ass bullshit behind you, biatch. 

 **!DEAN  
** And go where?

 **T!REAPER  
** Sorry. I can't give away tha big-ass punchline. Moment of truth. No changin yo' mind later n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So whatz it goin ta be?

As tha pimpin' muthafucka turns ta peep her, tha lights start flickering, a gangbangin' familiar buzzin starts.

 **!DEAN  
** What is you bustin dat for?

 **T!REAPER  
** I aint bustin dat shit. 

Da both turn ta a vent up in tha floor n' peep black demon ichor pour outta dat shit. 

 **!DEAN  
** What tha hell?

 **T!REAPER  
** Yo ass can't do this muthafucka! Git away hommie!

 **!DEAN  
** Whatz happening?!

TESSA/REAPER screams as tha demon flows tha fuck into her grill. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch turns, eyes glowin yellow. 

 **DEMON-IN-TESSA/REAPER  
** Todayz yo' dirty day, kid.

DEMON places a hand on DEAN'S forehead; his schmoooove ass convulses.

INT. DEAN'S ROOM - NIGHT

SAM is still chillin on tha bed as DEAN gasps, wakin suddenly n' chokin on tha tube up in his cold-ass throat. 

 **SAM**  
Dean, biatch?   
(into tha hallway)  
Help! I need help!


	6. ACT FIVE

INT. DEAN'S ROOM - DAY

 **DOCTOR  
** I can't explain dat shit. Da edemaz vanished. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da internal contusions is healed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo crazy-ass vitals is good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Yo ass have some kind of angel watchin over you, biatch. 

 **DEAN**  
Thanks, doc.  
(Da doctor leaves; DEAN turns ta SAM)  
So you holla'd a Reaper was afta me son?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** How'd I ditch it?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass gots mah dirty ass. Dean, you straight-up don't remember anything?

 **DEAN  
** No. Except dis pit up in mah stomach. Sam, somethingz wrong. 

A knock all up in tha door; JOHN hovers up in tha doorway.

 **JOHN  
** How tha fuck you feeling, dude?

 **DEAN  
** Fine, I guess. I be kickin it.

 **JOHN  
** Thatz what tha fuck matters.

 **SAM**  
(angry)  
Where was you last night?

 **JOHN  
** I had some thangs ta take care of. 

 **SAM  
** Well, thatz specific. 

 **DEAN  
** Come on, Sam. 

 **SAM  
** Did yo dirty ass go afta tha demon?

 **JOHN  
** No.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, why don't I believe you right now?

 **JOHN**  
(pleading)  
Can our asses aint fight, biatch? Yo ass know, half tha time we fighting, I don't give a fuck what tha fuck we fightin about. Us playas just buttin heads. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sammy, I, I've made some mistakes. But I've always done tha dopest I could. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I just don't wanna fight no mo', aiiight?

 **SAM  
** Dad, is you all right?

 **JOHN  
** Yeah. Yeah, I be just a lil tired. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Son, would you, uh, would you mind gettin me a cold-ass lil cup of caffeine?

 **SAM  
** Yeah. Yeah, sure. 

SAM leaves, still frowning. JOHN looks afta his ass sadly.

 **DEAN  
** What tha fuck iz it?

 **JOHN**  
Yo ass know, when you was a kid, I'd come home from a hunt, n' afta what tha fuck I'd seen, I'd be, I'd be wrecked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And you, you'd come up ta me n' you, you'd put yo' hand on mah shoulder n' you'd look me up in tha eye n' you'd... You'd say "It aint nuthin but all gravy, Dad"  
(pauses)  
Dean, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.

 **DEAN  
** What?

 **JOHN  
** Yo ass shouldn't have had ta say dat ta me, I should done been sayin dat ta you, biatch. Yo ass know, I put, I put too much on yo' shoulders, I made you grow up too fast. Yo ass took care of Sammy, you took care of mah dirty ass. Yo ass did that, n' you didn't complain, not once. I just want you ta know dat I be so proud as a muthafucka of you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** This straight-up you rappin'?

 **JOHN  
** Yeah. Yeah, itz straight-up mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Why is you sayin dis stuff?

JOHN comes closer, puts a hand on DEAN'S shoulder.

 **JOHN  
** I want you ta peep up fo' Sammy, aiiight?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, dad, you know I will. Yo ass is scarin mah dirty ass.

 **JOHN  
** Don't be scared, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

JOHN leans over n' whispers suttin' tha fuck into DEAN'S ear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN pulls back up in shock, processing. JOHN leaves, n' DEAN stares afta his muthafuckin ass. 

INT yo. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

JOHN entas n' places tha colt on a lil' small-ass bed table. 

 **JOHN  
** Okay.

INT yo. HALLWAY - DAY

Sam strutts back ta tha room carryin a cold-ass lil cup of coffee yo. Dude looks tha fuck into a room n' sees JOHN on tha floor.

 **SAM  
** Dad?!

(SILENCE - SLOW MOTION)   
Droppin tha cup, SAM runs ta JOHNz side, kneelin over his ass n' beatboxin fo' help.

INT yo. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY

Once again, a cold-ass lil crowd of doctors n' nurses attempt resuscitation, dis time on John. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN n' SAM hover up in tha doorway, n' a nurse tries ta push dem out.

 **DEAN**  
Fuck dat shit, no, no, itz our dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but our dad hommie!   
(pleading)  
Come on.

 **DOCTOR  
** Okay, stop compressions.

 **DEAN  
** Come on, come on.

 **NURSE  
** Still no pulse.

 **DOCTOR  
** Okay, thatz it everybody. 

(Blackout)

 **DOCTOR (v.o.)  
** I be bout ta call dat shit. Time of dirtnap: 10:41 am.


End file.
